When I was twelve years old I weighed two hundred-thirty pounds

The boys on the block called me “Meatball”

Chased me up the street to throw me on the ground

I tried to ignore them, despite my efforts their hands would wrap around my throat

It took some time before I realized

f I could make them laugh then I’d stop getting choked

So I built myself a mask of amusement,

And learned the lines of comedians

And I gorged myself in food to be funny

But no one saw that I was stuck inside my skin

In those teenage days

I was ashamed of who I was

I wish I had the confidence to say what I believed

I wish the road back home wasn’t so rough

It’s been sixteen-years

And the lighting in my room still dim and dark

Cause everytime I see myself in the mirror

I’m reminded of that boy who suffered scars

In my stretch marks

Some find solace in the scriptures

But I found solace in prescription pills

Sunk into a hole of depression

But never climbed out cause I never had the will

My parents they couldn’t see my struggle

They were blinded by the comforts of their lives

They showed their lack of understanding

When they said that one must strive before they thrive

So I bought myself a rope with strong fiber

And held it in my hand to see what I’d feel

I imagined those aisles of mourners

And whispered words like “his life was never his to steal”

In those teenage days

I was ashamed of who I was

I wish I had the confidence to say what I believed

I wish the road back home wasn’t so rough

It’s been sixteen-years

And the lighting in my room still dim and dark

Cause everytime I see myself in the mirror

I’m reminded of that boy who suffered scars

In my stretch marks